Wait till you get a load of that Swiss alchemist who isolated sulphur in powder form, which was later used to quickly start fires, as in matches.

Looking for gold, he thought - what else has the color of gold? The answer struck him in a moment of inspiration - urine.

This crazy bastard boiled gallons and gallons of piss in his home workspace. One can only begin to imagine the stench during those alchemical sessions… and how he was perceived by the rest of the neighborhood. Not a very popular man, I would imagine.

EDIT: Now that I think about it, I think it was phosphorus. Even more apt, considering the atomic symbol is “P”!

In my experimentation with soda making in the eighties, I discovered that CO₂ injected water tastes really acidy. Club soda has sodium bicarbonate added to offset the flavor (and cheap ones don’t balance it very well) and then Tonic Water (with quinine) leans into the sour.

This is the reason that Coca-cola syrup has to have a crazy amount of sugar, or a high-powered artificial sweetner. The other solution is to make your fizzy water less fizzy, but when you’re a teenager who believes fizzy is God, that’s preposterous.

PS: Also don’t mix citrons (e.g. oranges or lemons) with milk, which will do terrible things as well. We have to do weird industrial / chef magic to make orange or lemon flavored ice cream and such.