macrocarpa

Wtf

Except there absolutely is an absolute right and absolute wrong to gender equality (and more importantly, equity)

There is not. Equality is arbitrary. Equity is arbitrary. They are ideals / values that we each hold individually, and rank individually. Clearly, equality is an important value for you. Good. But your value of equality is shaped by you, not anyone else.

If you take your value set and say this should be the value set which everyone else has - you won’t change them. That’s my point. Equality is a value. It is ranked amongst other values. Do you value equality more than security? Financial independence? Safety? Control? Family? Social status? Faith? Children? Education? Career? Mastery of skill? Respect? Knowledge? Influence? Conservatism? Freedom? The environment?

For a given person you engage with, whether it be online, in person, in a relationship, over the phone, randomly in a street - their value set is intrinsic to them. Equality might not rank in their top five, or ten values. When you speak up on equality and say “you should”, people who don’t share your value set hear something different. What they hear is “You are wrong”. Speaking of which:

And you clearly don’t

you’re just another wilfully ignorant self serving misogynist who is wrong

sigh

That’s a shame. I’m sorry that you feel that way. Have to say it’s the first time I’ve been called a misogynist. I think if you met me you wouldn’t think that at all.

Your opinion of me doesn’t really matter - it doesn’t change anything. What did change things for me was reading The Mental Load by Emma. It crystallised what I already knew, and helped me to better understand the difference between contribution, effort and load.

Do you want to know why?

Then as those roles are indeed slowly being broken down it stands to reason that each successive generation is less willing to put up with them - but if you still see them as normal it will come as a surprise.

Except…entrenched gender roles are normal. This is expected human behaviour for 90% of the world. Equality, be it gender, age, ethnic or religious, is…just not how things work. It may be distasteful for you personally, but the rest of humanity doesn’t give a toss - Western civilisation is a thin smear of civility which only popped up in the past couple of hundred years, and what’s worked quite well for millennia is what’s still working pretty effectively for several billion people.

There is no absolute right and absolute wrong to gender equality, and that there is a regression or progression over time, merely opinions shaped by culture, background and opportunities. The events of the past 10 years have convinced me that the “good” parts of liberalism are unsustainable because people at their core are just…selfish. The only way to convince them to change something is if it is in their self interest. Regrettably, equality rarely aligns with self interest because it requires relinquishing something. Equality and equity of opportunity only exist when the opportunity exist. Otherwise it’s back to the dumb old shit we used to do.

Edited to add:

I didn’t phrase it well above,

The ground state for humanity is inequality. Whether we wish it or not.

The pursuit of equality and equity means these things need to be prioritised above other things.

It is hard to convince people to prioritise something they are not invested in, especially if they don’t benefit from it or value it.

Insomnia in my ass

you’re not missing anything, you paid attention in chemistry.

Women are more than happy for a walk while the girls were at the moment as they were a couple of weeks ago but I did really have the chance for them in my family

Old bloomers are in their late seventies man. They’re not doing much at all these days.

Yes.

Aw thank you, I feel seen.

Memory’s a bit sketchy but yeah sounds about right

It gives an insight as to the nature, location and odor of many gigs

Man wait till you meet Charlie

Yes and no.

our parents felt the same thing

Your dad simultaneously saw you as the baby who slept securely in his arms, the child he saw through junior school, the teen who he tried to help steer past his own mistakes and the adult he wistfully spoke of with pride

Imagine how good he must feel to know that you remember him this way.

How do people have the energy for all this

“OK so she must’ve bleached the full head then done the green side first, then the black side. Man her scalp must be itchy as fuck. What did I used to use to stop the burn? Coconut oil? Yeah that’s right. Smelt like Malibu for a week or so, and had to throw out that set of pillow cases. Man that sucks, I loved those pillow cases, perfect for winter. I wonder if you can still get them?”

…it also affected the Fatherland.

…turns out the latest upgrade to your c and c software was stolen from the enemy by cyber squad, and most of your assets on the southern front are now controlled by five primary school cs:go players in Fulham.

So denver is fwb?

On a shelf though? Doesn’t dust adhere to rubbery or siliconey stuff? I would have though in a drawer would be more hygienic.