I mean, I’m fine with it? There’s nothing wrong with being alone. There’s a lot wrong with being with a guy with a comment history like yours.

You guys ever see a horse eat a baby chick? I have. The only thing surprising about this is that he wasn’t eating the pigeons.

I leave the whole thing set up in the guest room so I don’t have to mess with it, and I’m a woman, so most of my dressier tops are less complicated than a men’s button-down. I plug it in, wash my face, and it’s ready to go, and it really is only about 2 minutes to actually iron. Maybe twice that if it’s a particularly finicky fabric (which I’m slowly eliminating from my wardrobe).

Man, I iron all the time. I’m not like, ironing underwear like a crazy person, but I have a lot of shirts that would be straight up unacceptable to wear to work without it. It takes like 2 minutes.

Oh absolutely not. No thank you. The world at large has my permission to smother me with a pillow if I hit 90 and don’t die. But it’s fine, I’m sure the microplastics/ultraprocessed food/climate change/whatever will take me out before that.

It’s definitely way less work. If you get hired for an hour, you’re pretty much expected to be fully engaged in, if not sex, then at least being entertaining in some way. With the type of sex work she did, she was never getting paid for time spent sleeping or eating (and definitely not hanging out and shopping), unless that was someone’s kink, I guess. I had a series of sugar daddies in my early 20s, and don’t let anyone tell you that’s not sex work, and I definitely made less per hour than a more traditional prostitute, but I also put in a lot less energy. Plus, it came with a lot more perks.

Somewhere, Brennan Lee Mulligan is crying and he doesn’t know why.

No offense, but that’s some real thanksimcured material. If people could just say they’re not going to care about the opinions of others and have that switch actually flip, society would need like, 50% fewer therapists, but it doesn’t work like that.

The pants were hideous, but she was a size 4 in that picture. People called her fat when she was a size 2, though, because she wasn’t as bone-thin as Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.

I can’t speak to everyone, but for a lot of women my age, it’s because we grew up being bombarded with images of objectively thin women and being told that they were fat. You couldn’t go to the grocery store without seeing magazines talking about celebrities with cellulite and the tone was always, “can you believe she went out like that?” I remember Jessica Simpson wearing this outfit and being called awful names for how “big” she looked. It’s hard to get past literal decades of that shit.

Oh I’m the opposite - I’m not a very good cook because I don’t enjoy doing it. I’m pretty good with flavors because I’m not afraid of seasonings, but my knife skills are bordering on Worst Cook in America levels. The abuse I have wrought upon poor, innocent, delicious onions is a crime.

Also, if you like the fried onions, have you seen the jalapeno version? So good. I’ve started putting them on everything.

I’m the worst about this. My mom and I will try a new restaurant and I’ll be talking about “oh this needs acid, that’s the perfect amount of heat, blah blah.” Meanwhile, I’m over here “cooking” noodles with a pile of kimchi every other day because that’s all I ever have in the fridge.

I hoped for a minute…

Coffee, hash browns, eggs. Then I spend my remaining money on hot sauce or green chile.

Hardness of the Sexbots?

Ha I’m about to turn 40 and same. I got married in 2013. No one brought any nerf guns. ☹️

Man, I was great at tests and history was my favorite subject. I’d love for a history quiz to be the thing I was worried about instead of like, the election and global warming and shit. Don’t get me wrong, you couldn’t pay me to go back to high school, but at least I could affect the outcome of a quiz, you know?

Depends on if you care about making set playlists. That’s the feature that generally costs more - Pandora is like $5 a month without that option, and $11 with it. I only listen in the car and don’t care about picking exactly what songs are on my stations, so I have the cheaper one, but for other people, that wouldn’t cut it.

I woke up at 6 to get a head start on desecration, but then I had a bbq to attend later so I got way off schedule. I really need to be on the ball today if I want to destroy the sanctity of straight marriage and groom children by telling them that they’re valid and deserving of love no matter how they identify. It’s a lot of work for a Sunday, honestly.

🚮