Madlaine

Makes sense, thanks for the (late) explanation xD

To prove your point, please dox yourself.

I’d be interested in your full name, address, your phone numbers, your email adresses, birth date and credit information (which is probably in the order details)

Not OP, but yeah…

There are a few mental/neurological conditions that lead to a big adversion against ordinary recurring tasks.

(In my case it’s PDA; but it’s something that I see across multiple neurodivergent spectrums, as well as in people with depression)

Frog or foe?

I don’t disagree with the point that it shouldn’t need to be this way.

But it is what it is; and it’s live saving medication that has to come from somewhere.

People are fighting to tackle the problem officially; but they also have to somehow live in the meantime.

Almost all trans people would prefer a prescription and medical supervision above having to pay themself and guesstimate the doses without proper bloodwork. But some just don’t have any alternatives.

And to be clear: I will always recommend people to try the official way first. local transpersons that asked me for advice all got a “I can help you get therapy; I can help you to skip therapy and go the indication route; I can reluctantly help you skip indication and go the informed-consent-route without psychotherapists but still medical supervision, even tho I really discourage that unless your transidentity is obvious since many years; but I will not help you to get DIY (without medical supervision) unless you tried the official approaches, sorry”.

But for some people, there is no other option than DIY. Getting a place for therapy can be really hard, and some countries have no alternative routes to get a prescription with medical supervision without going through years of therapy first.

(Btw, I don’t know how the laws are in the UK. I’m from germany. But the problem is the same everywhere. I got lucky to be able to get a prescription, tho; but I know a few people that weren’t)

Yes, but it’s a bit hard to get; even in countries that try to improve trans-care rather than reduce it.

There are just so many therapists; the waiting lists are sometimes simply closed because they stretch years.

For many people, these hormones mean the difference between a livable life and extreme dysphoria, depression and suicidality.

If they could get them on the regular way, they would. But the regular way is often full of problems. So some people have to fall back to just do it themself.

I even heard of doctors who do some medical checks under the counter to ensure everything is done as safe as possible (but aren’t able to prescribe hormones themself without prior psychotherapeutical indication)

So; your point would be valid in theory, but unfortunately for many trans-people, it’s the only way to get their possibly life-saving medication.

But yeah I’m ~235lbs/106kg guy, and I don’t like how I look most days in the mirror in a boring t-shirt and shorts, let alone trying to be desirable, so I’m kinda setting myself up mentally for disappointment. We shall see.

Sounds like me a year ago xD

Try find something that suits your figure; fem clothes can be quite good at camouflaging and distracting from problematic areas if one gets the right stuff.

And it drastically boosts self image when you found clothes you feel comfortable in, even if only in certain situations.

And my personal experience in case you don’t like your face (I didn’t, but I’ve got gender-related dysphoria in that regard): these femboy-cat-face-masks; wear them if you try out or take pictures in dresses. Allows you to focus on the clothes instead your face. After you found clothes you like with that mask on, you might take a look at some basic makeup. Nothing too fancy, but a bit of foundation, powder, minimalistic eyeshadow and mascara can do wonders.

But essentially: Try it! Do yourself a favor and try it! I wish I would have given in sooner instead of always thinking “nah, won’t suit me anyway and I will just look like a dude in a dress”. Wearing stuff like that played a huge part in realizing who I am.

(And it gave me a reason to loose some weight. 103kg->88kg since December)

And obviously: Should you find out in the end that fem clothes are just not your thing; that’s fine as well! But if the idea was already in your head: try it ^-

Just do it.

There are many large people that look beautiful. You have to search for the right clothes.

I assume from your comment that you’re maybe a bit chubby; that’s no shame. Many chubby people look wonderful in fem clothes.

You maybe should go for something more comfortable than the sexy secretary look, but (unless your suuuuper overweight) there will be something that’s suiting your figure. Just google some guides for transfeminine clothing and try some stuff. Many of us wanna wear feminine clothing while having similar issues. A love for food is not depending on the gender ;)

Btw: My personal recommendation are long black skirts from the steampunk/goth/pseudo-victorian niches. They often have enough accessories and other highlights to distract; and they don’t look all that bad if one is a bit larger

Not necessarily

You could twist the rules.

Instead of hearing “hit” you get handed the shot you just hit

all these new names for old mechanics.

Back in my time we called it “multi-classing”

Didn’t check the sub in the screenshot, didn’t we?

After denying previous cracks in my teens and twenties as just a part of me beeing weird; I will list my curent final round that lead to loosing my denial:

1. Actually… playing Celeste. I don’t even remember what it was, but it somehow it brought my mind to think that I have to process something I surpressed and since then it didn’t leave my head. That’s also why my chosen Name is a homage: Madlaine

2. A year later a psychologist (unrelated issue) put me on the right way to find out that I’m actually a veery high masking autistic person (CAT-Q 148…) and the negative results in my youth are wrong because my symptoms in earlier assessments don’t match the symptoms of a male autistic person but of a female autistic person. And back then (and still today…) it was in many doctors minds that autism is clearly gender-specific. This realization that I’m actually allowed to be different and don’t have to actively fit in (my parents denied the possibility of me being neurodivergent because the tests were negative) gave me the energy to rediscover myself. And the gendered test-result were forshadowing

3. While already seeing myself as genderfaer (enby-fem genderfluid with only very rarely masc-parts) a few weeks later, I still was in denial. I’m autistic so enby is kinda okay. But binary-trans? Me? naah

4. After a while I discovered that my gender identity can rather be described as “sometimes more, sometimes less, sometimes 0 but never anything else than femme”. At this point I already wear some feminine clothing at home and outed myself to my gf.

5. < crack > GF was away for the weekend and I bought my first makeup to try to get some euphoria to get over a depressive phase. And seeing myself without that weird beardshadow and with some contouring and some accessories… wow… I discovered what was wrong all these years.

6. <crack crack> I never imagined my own wedding. I just couldn’t imagine myself at my own wedding in a suit. Which is weird. I love suits. I love women in suits. My next suite will be tailored feminine, but I will still wear suits.
   But one evening, I suddenly see my wedding. I’m in this fabulous mixture of a violet suit and dress. I’m a women … so that was why I could never imagine myself as husband…

7. < final cracks > telling my girlfriend my name. I’m Madlaine now. She calls me her girlfriend now. I will one day become her wife <3

8. If all goes well, HRT starts in December. 30 by then, but well, it’s never to late I was told.

That said I had to really try hard to deliberately missunderstand it.

But well, we seem to have the same native language and therefore maybe intuitively misstranate it the same way? ^^

Fuck you for hurting the most vulnerable, disgusting decision by disgusting people.

Kann übersetzt werden zu:

Fickt euch dafür die verletzlichste, abscheulichste Entscheidung von abscheulischen Leuten zu verletzen. (weird weil wörtliche Übersetzung; kann auch Beschädigen o.ä. nutzen. Geht mehr um den Sinn als das Wort)

Ist vermutlich gemeint:

Fickt euch dafür die Verletzlichsten zu verletzen; Abscheulische Entscheidung abscheulicher Leute.

Bestiality is not outlawed in Hawaii, New Mexico, West Virginia, and Wyoming

Depends on the granularity you want.

This sounds like you could fit under the “non-binary” umbrella, but there are many subcategories. Maybe genderfluid .

Or maybe you’re cis but just don’t see a use in following gender-stereotypes.

But in the end, getting lost in labeling is not needed. Just be you. ^-

Self-proclaimed eggs realize they might be not-cis; but they haven’t found themself yet. Or are in the denial phase. Or many other things.

Our shell show cracks, but we haven’t hatched yet.

“Where is this going. Debts? Companies? Did I miss some huge lore dump? Wait … are they talking about the lands outside?”

https://www.sinfin.net/railways/world/antarctica.html

Health is explicitly NOT pocus!