I wish.

I’ll never forget the taste ☹️

I have an iPad mini and enormous pockets. I’m living the dream.

It’s a Sunday Sport article.

A joke in which the central conceit is Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman fuck each other, but yeah, censor the word “ass”.

Oh SMASNUG!

oh no, my pkcell

Of course it’s not, but the alternative is not earning as much money, and the corporations can’t tolerate that. So they’ll keep juicing us for every last penny, all the while making ‘efficiency savings’ where they can.

Fuck knows what they’ll do next to make even more money, but the CEOs will have retired by then, so it’s Someone Else’s Problem.

In fairness, this streaming world is a marvel - if you can afford it. You can, for £100 a month, have access to damn near any piece of media that’s been published over the past 100 years. If you watch ten movies in a month you’ve spent the equivalent of buying ten DVDs ten years ago. Everything beyond that is pure profit.

But if you don’t have a spare £100 a month, you can get fucked. You can spend your time feeling like you’re missing out because you can’t afford Disney+ this month, and you’re trying desperately to avoid spoilers of the tentpole show they’ve just dropped.

Our parents (generally) can afford it, and can compare it to how it used to be. Hell, I’m 44 and I still see it as an incredible feat. But it’s one I’m tired of. So I pirate the few things that have piqued my interest, and browse my friend’s well stocked Plex library for other distractions. My sole subscription is Apple Music. I could pirate music and only ever use my iPod, but there are times when I prefer the convenience of my phone.

As for the ads: I’m British, so can only speak for times I visited the US as a kid; but TV advertising has long been WAY out of control over there. Ads, opening credits, ads, part one, ads, part two, ads, closing credits, ads. It’s fucking insane. Here in the UK, if you’re not watching BBC, it’s ads, part one, ads, part two, ads. Done. So from our perspective, advertising on the internet is mad. But to older Gen X/Boomer Americans, it’s just a way of life.

Crazy Frog itensifies

See, I don’t really mind the sponsored segments. Some creators actually have fun with their ad reads, like the Map Men or Colin Furze. But if it’s boring I just tap the forward button on my Apple TV remote and skip past.

This is exactly me.

I’ve been paying £5 a month by using a VPN to sign up for Premium from Ukraine. Been doing so for the past couple of years without complaint. Literally all I need from them is to fuck off the adverts. I have Apple Music for music and I’m happy with it.

Now they’ve rumbled us and will be cutting off our Premium next month.

I am fucked if I’m paying those ratfuckers £20 a month just so I can watch other people’s hard work without the adverts they force in. Fuck that noise.

So I’m now researching ways to get my subs onto Plex so I can carry on watching on my Apple TV.

YT emailed us yesterday to say that they believed our family Premium account is not, in fact, based in Ukraine where Premium is a fraction of the cost of other countries in Europe.

Anyway, by the time they’ve pulled the plug on us I’ll have FreeTube set up and rolling. Fuck ‘em.

I’m more than happy to sling them a fiver a month to get shot of adverts, but they can lick my arsehole if they think I’m ponying up £20 a month just so my wife and I can watch stuff without being advertised at as much as they think is reasonable.

Cunts.

I was talking to my wife about this yesterday, and ultimately this is a kink that’s dicey as fuck. There’s no way to play it 100% without running the risk of rape.

I mean, if you’re a guy who gets off on women being asleep/passed out when you have sex with them, knowing that they’ve given express consent kinda kills the vibe. But you can’t expect to have sex with someone who hasn’t given you express consent.

So in the end I fall down on having zero sympathy for the guys who claim they thought she was in on it. She’s either told you it’s cool or she hasn’t.

Mario Kart DS.

Shit’s a masterpiece.

Oh fork! This was the Bad Place all along!

The Apple TV remote is rechargeable, though not backlit.

But what if OP works at the hotdog fleshlight factory?

I’ve lived in one rented house that wasn’t entirely magnolia, and that was when I rented my nan’s house to help pay towards her nursing home costs.

Other than that: yep, fucking magnolia.

Brilliantly, not all magnolia is equal. Scratched the wall in my current house, so went out and got a tester of Dulux magnolia to patch it up. It’s a slightly lighter shade 😐

They can’t take away my iPod and its headphone jack.

I hate Word with the power of a trillion suns. Word is our continuing punishment from God for Adam and Eve nicking that damn apple.

I use Pages for 90% of my word processing work, but there are times when my documents have to be accessed by Windows users. Those times make me sad.