That makes sense! I definitely share in your experience of anxiety that comes out of wanting to be open and expressive but also protect yourself. I’m navigating something similar and, well, I don’t have a good answer right now about what to do.
Generally, for people I know, I’ve found that I’m a very good judge of whether or not they will accept/embrace/vibe with my gender expression or be off-put by it and I know that influences the degree to which I mask (which I’m unhappy with, but working on). For people I don’t know—generally they don’t care as they have their own problems to work through, but I live in a socially liberal city so there’s that 😅
Haha, not sure if it’s possible to definitively anything that can’t be measured empirically. Glad you’re in a safe place ☺️
Yeah, I don’t have the best answers. What do you feel like your living as your true self is missing? Do you feel yourself making progress to that vision? What’s missing?